One of the most common things I hear from dog professionals as to why they got into (or want to get into) the industry is “I don’t like people, I’d rather spend my days with dogs”. And fair enough to a certain degree. Spending your days with dogs is a pretty amazing way to spend your time in my opinion. Dogs are not judgmental, they love unconditionally and they have this way of making us feel better about ourselves just by being with them. BUT until dogs master the skills of being completely self-sufficient, of getting jobs and paying for a roof over their head, of getting their own food, of paying for their own dog walks or training classes the reality is that if we want to spend our days with dogs we have to be dealing with their people. There is no way around it. Depending on which side of the dog industry you get into will determine just how much you have to deal with people (dog walkers for example may deal less with people than dog trainers who offer classes or private training where they are working directly with the people). Make no mistake though the people are our clients, not the dogs.
And how we deal with the people determines our success at the end of the day. People choose me to work with them and their dogs for training for a multitude of reasons. They choose me because my facility is close to their home, because the timing of my classes works with their schedule, because I was the first trainer that came up in their Google search. Thankfully more and more people are choosing me because of the positive methods I use. A large percentage of my clients are referred by current or past students because they were happy. But a surprisingly large number of my clients are choosing me because they started elsewhere and did not like the way they were treated or spoken to in their interactions with other trainers. And clients speak very loudly about how they are treated, usually without saying a word but by choosing where they will spend their money, who they will talk to about the service they received and what they will say to people they know and meet who need a dog professional. We could be the best dog trainer/walker/sitter/groomer in the world but if we don’t master the skill of positive reinforcement with our human clients, our business will pay for it. Telling a client all the things they are doing “wrong” with their dog does not leave them open to hearing how to change things or do things differently (the human ego is a very fragile thing, and we all have one and they are all triggered by different things). Berating a client or potential client for not starting training earlier with their dog or puppy does not leave them feeling trusting or open towards working with you and hearing what you have to say. Lambasting other professionals online or behind their backs for methods or choices you don’t like does not leave the people who see you doing that with a very good impression of you or with a feeling that they can trust you not to do the same to them when their backs are turned. Lecturing a client on their training when you have been hired as a dog walker does not leave them feeling open to hear what you have to say and change anything (and quite possibly will have us losing the title of their dog walker as well).
As dog professionals we need to find a way to connect with our human clients. To make them feel that we are on their side and we are here to help them help their dogs (because, really isn’t that what it’s about at the end of the day?? Helping?? Making a difference, making things better for the dogs and for their people?). We need to find a way to communicate the knowledge and information we have in a kind way that leaves people open to making a change, that leaves them open to wanting to learn more, that leaves them feeling good about their experience and interaction with us. And we need to find a way to reward and celebrate when our clients get it right, to enable them to continue making the choices that allow them to get it right, until it becomes a habit for them because they are hooked on how good it feels to have such a great relationship with their dogs while having worked through and dealt with whatever issues brought them to our doorstep in the first place.
Who’s right and who’s wrong doesn’t even really play into it a lot of the time. There was a time we all knew less than we know now. There was a time some of us “knew” completely different methods and ways of thinking than we do now. There was a time we all knew nothing about dogs. And if we can get our today-selves in touch with ourselves from that time we knew nothing and remember that (most of the time) people genuinely want what is best for their pet, they just don’t have the same information and knowledge that we do. If we can remember that it is our responsibility as dog professionals to help get that information across in a way that actually hits home and doesn’t leave them feeling defensive and aggressive towards us. If we can use the EXACT same methods that we positive reinforcement professionals use to work with the dogs – communicating in a way that the dog understands, rewarding the behaviours we like, ignoring or redirecting the behaviours we don’t like. Just directed at both ends of the leash.
And it’s not just our clients that we need to be doing this with. The dog industry is hugely unregulated. There are lots of people out there doing a lot of damage (mostly unintentionally, led by ego and ignorance). But trying to change what they are doing by attacking them only makes most people dig in further to what they are already doing and close off their ears to hearing anything you have to say (regardless of how “right” or good the information may be). Think about a time where you have felt attacked (whether you were in the right or in the wrong). Were you able to just remove your emotions and focus on what was being said, or did you baton down the hatches and dig your heels in and stubbornly hold on to your belief simply because the other person was attacking you and you felt the overwhelming need to protect and defend yourself. Setting up that kind of environment never leads to anything positive, it doesn’t lead to change and it certainly doesn’t lead to us having a good relationship with the person or having a good reputation in the industry. Apart from being unregulated, the industry is also very very small and people watch and take note of how we behave and interact with others.
I struggle with the above point immensely as I have a very strong sense of injustice and needing to right a wrong. I absolutely admit and acknowledge that I don’t get it right all the time, that I stumble and I fall and I have my moments that ego and emotion takes over and I behave in a way that I really wish I hadn’t. But I try really hard to look at it from the perspective of what change am I making or am I just pissing people off and causing myself to be angry and miserable. One of Mahatma Gandhi’s most famous quotes: “Be the change that you wish to see in the world.” comes to mind often for me here, because as much as I would LOVE to be able to control other people’s behaviour, the simple fact is I can’t. We cannot control what someone else is going to do. The absolute only thing we have any control over at all is our own behaviour, reactions and choices we make. Leading by example, being positive in our interactions with others, practicing being kind and focusing on what we can do to make a difference is the best way to make a real and lasting change. It is also a pretty good way to make a living, working with dogs (and their people).
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